I happened to find renowned mapper Andrew
Weldon hovering in a pit on ICQ, and bombarded him with nonsensical questions
before he could escape. Enjoy the insanity.
KungFuSquirrel: You still wanting to do that feature for Snark Pit? :X
HLGaming.com: Nah, you've been interviewed too many times..
KungFuSquirrel: /me shrugs
KungFuSquirrel: not a problem if you ask innovative funky questions. :)
HLGaming.com: Funky questions.. hmm
KungFuSquirrel: I'm sure you of all people could put a unique twist on most
What is the most disgusting thing that has happened to you while drunk/pumped with
KungFuSquirrel: well, I don't drink, so that rules that out.
HLGaming.com: Thats why I gave a choice.
HLGaming.com: I ARE CLEVER
KungFuSquirrel: well, one day this summer (night, actually, it was about
1:00 am), I was just working on one of my projects... Eclipse, I think... I'd had
some swelling behind my left ear, and I was kinda poking around back behind my ear
when the skin broke and this really disgusting fluid started slowly draining out
on my hand. Turned out a stitch abcess from a previous surgical procedure had formed
and I put just enough pressure on it to break it out through the skin behind my
KungFuSquirrel: Then when I had that looked at, the ear doctor found that
new cholosteatoma, which was then removed by another surgical procedure about a
KungFuSquirrel: My left ear has such a happy history.
HLGaming.com: Thanks for sharing that, although I did ask...
If you could have one physical deformity, what would it be?
KungFuSquirrel: I think I'd want four arms. Except the second pair would
have to be flipped across my body... a left arm on the right and a right on the
KungFuSquirrel: I could set up two computers next to each other and work
on two maps at once. :D The flipped arms would make each side function like a pair
of normal arms.
What would be your solution to the global cheating epidemic?
KungFuSquirrel: Ninja death squads ship in every box. Sure it'd add immensely
to the packaging costs, shipping weight, box size, and retail food budget (you can't
have these people dying and rotting on store shelves you know, especially inside
small cardboard boxes), but isn't that worth the eventual goal of no more cheating?
HLGaming.com: Very true. What is your favourite onomatpoeic word?
KungFuSquirrel: Besides, if you weren't a cheater, I'm sure you could use
them for all sorts of neat tricks, like tossing cheese at them and having them slice
it mid-air and knock it right back on your crackers. I bet they could do that.
HLGaming.com: And double as a personal escort.
KungFuSquirrel: oh, indeed.
HLGaming.com: Don't mess with me, I carry ninjas.
KungFuSquirrel: most useful when the screaming teenie-bopper mapper groupies
come running, of course.
HLGaming.com: Mapper groupies. I'll add that to my list of strange word combinations.
KungFuSquirrel: Except when they slice them into neat little piles of teenie-bopper
mapper groupie chips. That's kinda gross.
HLGaming.com: That's what goes into pies.
HLGaming.com: Mapper groupie chunks.
KungFuSquirrel: Really? I'll never eat pie again...
HLGaming.com: In pie factories, they apparently have suction vents all along
the floor, that suck any trash up and add it to the pie. Rats (or squirrels) are
a speciality. Taste that fur!
KungFuSquirrel: Umm... I feel threatened.
HLGaming.com: I also avoid sausages. Wanna hear what goes into them? >:)
KungFuSquirrel: Not again.
HLGaming.com: Offal. Lots of offal.
KungFuSquirrel: Anyway. Onomatopoeias.
HLGaming.com: Yes. Your favourite?
KungFuSquirrel: I think I must say 'bnag.' And yes, I mean 'bnag.' Don't
HLGaming.com: Bnag. Right. That's almost unpronounceable. How can that be
KungFuSquirrel: Well, perhaps the sound it represents is unpronounceable
as well? huh-ho! Squirrel 1, strange person 0!
HLGaming.com: A sound isn't pronounced. A word is. Therefore the sound cannot
be represented by an onomatopoeic word. 1 all, Strange Squirrel!
KungFuSquirrel: Bah. You know what I mean, jerk.
HLGaming.com: I've been insulted by Andrew Weldon! My life goal is fulfilled!
KungFuSquirrel: Bah, I insult myself plenty. Not that big a deal.
HLGaming.com: Yes, you do seem very self-deprecating in both your forum posts
and your articles. Any explanation for that?
KungFuSquirrel: Eh, I just take out my inherent and bitter hate for everyone
and everything on myself.
HLGaming.com: Isn't that self-destructive?
KungFuSquirrel: Well, yes, and I'm sure in the long run I'll just end up
collapsing into a life of drugs and death. But hey, it's fun right now!
HLGaming.com: Drugs, death, and maps.
KungFuSquirrel: nah, by then I'll have sold all my maps to support the drugs.
HLGaming.com: You mean like...
HLGaming.com: The Recent Scandal?
KungFuSquirrel: Why no. Of course not.
HLGaming.com: How would it be different?
KungFuSquirrel: Because... hey, look over there!
KungFuSquirrel: /me points
KungFuSquirrel went offline.